Kyo Yuy

1) Morton’s List
2) Ice cream party at Cold Stone
3) Barbecue at my house
4) Fireworks
5) Mineh’s birthday
6) Beach?
7) Park?
Melting Pot + movie
9) Shinano, Pacific East, Tree Country, Korea House, Wonton Gourmet, Siam Cafe, Tommys, Little Italy, home cooking, Bangkok, Hunan East
10) Siam Cafe Dinner Party
11) Dim sum
12) KOKO BAKERY ++++
13) Picnic at a park
14) Cookoff at Matt’s?
15) s’mores
16) Pizza Bogo
17) Greek food (Falafel Cafe?)
18) Cook katsu curry with Megan
19) Code Geass Marathon

- Cannot handle spicy food

Dear Haley,

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty depressed. Not SUPER depressed, but I guess I’m bothered by the fact that ever since I met Mineh, it seems like our friends naturally gravitate toward him and think he’s amazing and super hot stuff. And it makes me feel really inferior, like I’m not awesome or anything.

I kind of insinuated that notion to Mineh, the fact that people always say he’s amazing and that people always talk to him and I seem to go unnoticed. But one thing he said to me really struck a chord:

minehatwork: Real compliments are when people listen to you
minehatwork: get to know you

And when I thought about it, I realized how true that really was. In many ways, when I think back to the past, and how some people communicate with one another, there are people who are extremely charismatic who can say amazing words and things to everyone. And the people who interact with these charismatic people often say that these people are really awesome and amazing.

Some people are really good crowd pleasers, and get tons of compliments, and fans, and admirers.

But are admiration, compliments, and “generic words,” signs of true friendship? When I think about it, it really isn’t.

It’s like they say. Actions speak louder than words. I guess lately I’ve been blind to it since I crave attention so much, but just because everyone looks up to and adores someone doesn’t mean they think that person is an awesome friend. And likewise, just because people aren’t constantly focused on me and talking to me doesn’t mean they don’t value my friendship.

It’s kinda like how my shoutouts work. A lot of these people I call out to, most of them I barely talk about if at all. However, each and every single individual I’ve called out (and people I WILL call out) has had a lasting impression on my life, and helped me in far greater ways than mere words could ever do. But yet these shoutouts may be some of the few times, if not the only times, I’ve ever REALLY thoughtfully written/said anything about them.

I think the same mentality can be applied to me too. Although very few people constantly compliment me and tell me how amazing I am, there are a lot of people who listen to me, and want to hear what I say, and ask me for help. And in some ways, isn’t asking me for help a sign that those people really trust me, and they really value me as a friend? It’s kinda like, when one time out of the blue Martha IMed me saying “Hey, we need your help hosting a party for Lauren, at this guy’s house.” At first I was a little bit offended and confused, because I didn’t even KNOW this guy friend of Martha’s, and I’m being asked to help get people to a TOTAL STRANGER’S house? My first reaction was to feel like I was being used.

But when I think about it further, it is in many ways a compliment. The fact that she feels I can do it. That she believes I have this charismatic power over people, that I have the organizational skills to set up a grand scale event whereas she and Jon do not feel that they can. Even though it was delivered bluntly, the meaning behind it is a more sincere, deep compliment than just some stranger on the street saying “You’re such a nice person.”

It’s also in a way, kinda like how the people at University Hospitals say I’m so wonderful and amazing. And I’m sure they mean it, but I mean all I do is talk to people and spend time with patients. I’m sure they think I’m awesome to have around, but I mean, I’m a VOLUNTEER, and I’m not paid to do what I do.

To extend Mineh’s idea, I guess there are obligatory compliments and then there are “real compliments.” When someone is really helpful, or does something you think is amazing, of course anyone would be inclined to say “Wow, that guy’s amazing,” or “That person’s done SO MUCH.” But then there are the real compliments, the ones I get from friends that don’t sound NEARLY as nice (and in some cases aren’t said at all), but yet on a deeper level mean so much. Showing up to my events, bringing stuff, listening to what I say, reading the stuff I write about, relying on me for everything, these little things, even though they are barely or not spoken at all, are signs that people DO really value me as a friend. I never wow people with what I do, and I don’t get compliments up the wazoo, but these little things that I do, I think people are very grateful for them even if they don’t say it.

At least, that is what I would like to believe. Several people have said that I am the glue that holds everyone together, and that if I stopped trying then people would slowly dissipate and the massive otaku group of friends that we’ve accumulated will slowly disperse. I don’t really know if that’s true or not. I don’t feel that I have any special powers or special charms.

But I do work my butt off to gather everyone together, to make each and every individual feel important, and to make sure that no one is ignored or neglected.

Deep down, I think, and I hope, that I have made a tremendous impact on a lot of people’s lives, and I like to believe that people’s lives would be significantly different right now had I not been a part of their lives.

One of my dreams is to make an impact on every individual’s lives. I hope I am already carrying out that dream.

- Benson

I have friends who are amazing because of the wonderful things they say. Friends who manage to be extremely charismatic and make other feel extremely loved due to the kind words they give to others. However, I also have AMAZING friends who are wonderful simply because of their actions. Many of my friends have been supporting me via doing a lot of little things, giving me things, listening to me when I need someone to talk to, and generally trying to do anything they can to make my life a little better.

Lately, I’ve felt that I don’t give such friends enough credit. I tend to place emphasis on the people who talk to me regularly and provide me words of encouragement. But in reality, the friends who support me through their actions are also extremely important to me. Even though not all my friends are constantly speaking to me and talking to me about my problems, many of them have done a lot for me. And it really means a lot to me when one of my friends does something to support me, even if that friend isn’t as vocal as some of the other people I talk to.

Gillian is a prime example of one of those people. I consider her to be one of the most amazing friends I’ve ever made, even though I rarely talk about her and I don’t have the time to talk to her on a regular basis.

I first met Gillian through Lauren, who is one of my most awesome friends ever. Gillian was interested in being a challenger for my “Iron Artist” panel that I was doing, and she had a lot of fun. When I met her, I found out she only lives 5 minutes from my house (of all my friends, she lives the closest to me) so I was hoping to hang out with her more.

Gillian does an insane amount for me, and I feel I don’t express my gratitude enough. People often pay attention to those who are really talkative and outgoing, but then have a tendency to overlook the friends that are really amazing through their actions. Gillian has brought drinks to all my barbecues, shows up to any events I host that she can attend, and the list goes on and on.

However, the single greatest thing that she has done for me, that stands out in my mind to this day, is the help she gave me with the Rie Tanaka love poster that I made Rie at New York Anime Festival. On a whim, Saturday night, I decided I would buy a poster board and write the words “Rie-san saikou!” and various other Chobits references on it, and I felt that words alone weren’t enough to make the poster look pretty. I’m REALLY bad at drawing, and Gillian helped me a lot by drawing a picture of Rie in her outfit that she wore during the NYAF masquerade, as well as putting in a bunny in a suit (whom I will consider to be Laplace’s Demon from Rozen Maiden since it fits), for good measure. It was REALLY pretty, and really well done, but because I’m not very good with words in person I felt like I didn’t give adequate thanks to her. But I am ETERNALLY grateful for that, and even though I was giving Gillian flak at the time because I was worried the pictures would block out the text, and I accidentally spilled milk on to the poster (>_<), I really wanted to thank her, a lot. It meant a lot to me, and I felt really guilty when I messed up the poster by spilling milk on it. Fortunately it only ended up on a portion of the poster so it was still salvageable. Rie-san enjoyed the poster a lot, and she even held the poster for the massive group picture seen here:http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v362/246/31/15504585/n15504585_31593474_4665.jpg .

Gillian has done an awful lot for me but I have never been quite able to express it in words, at least not in person. She’s done so much for me through her actions, expecting very little in return. So the least I can do is try to organize as many gatherings as I can (which seems to be my only talent haha) so that she can have lots of fun times and awesomeness.

I love you Gillian. I hope we stay friends for a real long time.

EVERYONE WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON MAY 14! <3