Kyo Yuy

Dear Haley,

I believe in you. Never forget that.

You’re very stressed with a lot of things in your life, and so am I. Knowing how much stress is in your life, the last thing I want to do is contribute to that stress.

To be honest, your behavior has, at a few times, contributed to my stress and frustration and I had originally planned to avoid talking to you all week this week. I thought what you were doing was intentional, but now that I realize it was purely an accident and that everything you say is indeed the honest truth, combined with the fact that you really need a lot of support right now, I decided that I would let go of my frustrations after Sunday and continue to support you through this rough week.

As far as relationships go, at the least don’t worry too much about my end. I do like you… a lot. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to try to pursue you, or anything like that. What I do for you is purely in support of you as a friend, and I don’t want you to think I have any ulterior motives. As someone who does have feelings for you, there’s nothing I want more than to see you happy. And if you would be happiest with someone other than me, then I will be happy with that too. And if you don’t want to date anyone right now that’s totally fine too. There’s no pressure. Just focus on what you have to now, because no one is going to hold it against you if you don’t date them or something.

Part of the reason I was going to distance myself from you originally was to try to sever all my romantic feelings with you. I felt that they were bothering you and making you uncomfortable, based on what I had discussed with other people. But I think now, that may not necessarily be the case, but any way I would like to discuss that with you Friday. Regardless of how things turn out, I do want to support you to the best of my abilities and be the best friend I possibly can for you during these difficult times.

I want you to be as honest with me as you possibly can Friday. And I hope you can deliver on that commitment. Because I will definitely be as honest as I can with you when we meet.

- Benson

Dear Haley,

I’m really lazy and bad at decision making.

I came in to Lakeside at University Hospitals today and I found out that one of the nurses was looking for me yesterday. Apparently they needed me to speak to the couple who only understood Cantonese. They’re fine now, but the nurse would’ve really needed my help yesterday to talk to them to explain their situation.

I wasn’t at the hospital when they needed me. Nope, I was in a kitchen making curry with 5 other people, when those 5 people really didn’t NEED my help and I would’ve been better off helping sick people than making food for hungry students.

Today they don’t really need me. But for the sake of completing my 40 hour committment, I’m staying here for 3 hours so I can at least say I did it. In reality though, it’s a complete waste.

I’m so upset at myself. Realistically I only wanted to stay at Marathon to see my friends and to have a good time. I could’ve been of so much help Saturday (and really, when I WAS actually at the hospital on Friday to help the nurse with interpreting, that was the most help I had ever done for the hospital).

I’m so selfish. I really need to focus on the things that matter.

Sorry I’m such a lazy bum.

- Benson

Dear Haley,

Some day, when you’re not stressed and everything’s done and over with, we need to have a long talk. Something has been weighing very heavily on my mind, and I would like to discuss it with you and settle things.

But now is not the time nor the place.

You have a lot of things on your plate. The stress of school and the pressures of your future life looming ahead of you, and so many things. Focus on these things, and don’t worry about me for now. It’s not a big deal, we’ll talk about it when you’re ready and not a moment earlier.

Just remember. I’ve got your back, no matter what. And I am only a phone call a way.

I wish you the best of luck with everything Haley.

- Benson

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2009-03-27/my-chemical-romance-founder-co-produces-ffvii/acc-song

Ever since Squaresoft merged with Enix, I’ve been less than displeased with their tendencies to make storyline sequels to the Final Fantasy games, and I am ESPECIALLY displeased with just how much the company is milking Final Fantasy VII for all its worth.

When Final Fantasy VII first came out, I immediately fell in love with it. I had played the demo at Media Play, and it was probably the second or third RPG I had ever played in my life. The story was very good, the characters had very compelling and 3D personalities, and the overall progression of the storyline was at a good pace that I could keep up with and enjoy thoroughly.

I liked Final Fantasy VII when it ended. It left a strong, lasting impression on me, and it had stayed in my heart as one of the true RPG classics of all time. Without a doubt, Final Fantasy VII opened the floodgates that allowed JRPGs to gain popularity in the states. Considering that the US only had four RPGs for the PSX prior to FFVII, there’s no doubt in my mind that FFVII was the game that proved to Sony that JRPGs had a place in the US market.

Nearly half a decade later, Square decides that it can make more money out of the FFVII franchise. So it decides to make a seemingly endless production of sequels, starting with the graphically amazing but plotwise inferior Advent Children, then producing Crisis Core, Dirge of Cerberus, and a number of spinoff RPGs and anime.

Now, I haven’t played a number of these RPGs or seen these spinoffs. But from my limited experience with Crisis Core and having watched Advent Children, I can firmly say that these spinoffs, for the large part, are vastly inferior to Final Fantasy VII. It seems that these spinoffs are largely tributes, references, homages, and allusions to other characters and events in FFVII, rather than trying to improve upon plot ideas or loose ends in FFVII. Not that FFVII really had any loose ends, which makes me question Square’s sequels even more.

I don’t like when companies intentionally produce a million spinoffs from one franchise when the obvious reason here is not to appeal to fans, but to make money. I would understand if they took 2-3 years to really develop a good sequel to FFVII or even a solid prequel that goes in depth into characters and shows solid plot development, but most of these movies and games seem poorly thrown together and are not indicate of the four year project that made FFVII the amazing game that it was.

And Square doesn’t seem to want to stop with the FFVII craze either. It’ll just keep producing sequels out the wazoo, nonstop, until everyone gets sick of FFVII and no one wants to buy it any more.

Makes me sad that it’s how FFVII will be remembered. Not as that one epic game, but as an overrated franchise that was beaten to death by its creators.

Dear Haley,

I am extremely honored and very happy that you called me yesterday.

Every time I hear your voice, it’s as if I’m listening to a choir of angels serenading from the heavens. Your voice makes my face blossom into a smile, even for a short period of time, and makes me forget all the torments of the world and all the stresses I have been going through.

Every time I feel like you’ve stopped caring about me, you find some way to show me just how much you still care. It means a lot to me, it really does.

Your smile is my happiness. Separation from you is my sadness.

It sounds ridiculously corny but it’s true. Every time you’re busy with school or friends or what have you, for a long period of time, I get really upset and irritated.

But then you try to find some time for me any way, no matter what.

Not because you feel an obligation to.

But because you care about me.

And that’s what really means the world to me.

I’m still extremely nervous, angry, irritated, and stressed out about this semester and my future, but as long as you continue to believe in me and show me your support, I just know I’ll be able to find the strength to make it through somehow.

- Benson

I’m doing horribly on all my classes.

I just completely got destroyed on a test I took today.

I’m about ready to give up.

- Benson

In an earlier article I wrote, I discussed how important connections are for success. And the more life experiences I’ve gained, the more I’ve found that it’s true.

As I discussed with a nurse at a hospital, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” Some people have incredible IQ, incredible standardized test scores, and incredible talent in general, and yet they are not able to become truly as successful as some others. I’ve noticed that there are some absolutely amazing, talented artists and singers who receive very little recognition, just as there are horrible artists and subpar singers who are celebrities and world renowned.

And I’ve found that it’s not just what your talent is, it’s also how you present yourself. Akira Toriyama is a fine example of this. I’m not a professional artist, but even with my untrained eye, I feel that Toriyama’s art style requires very little skill and is extremely easy to emulate. However, Toriyama is one of the most famous artist in the manga and anime industry, and his art is not only limited to Dragonball, but he is also accredited to the legendary video game series known as Dragon Quest (Dragon Warrior in the US).

Why is such a simplistic art style so famous and so well known? Again, I’m not a professional artist nor do I study art, but I do have a few theories. I think that the simplistic appeal of his characters, as well as their relation to a popular folk lore in Chinese mythology, combined with Toriyama’s unique yet child-like imagination, creates an innovative storyline and set of caricatures that can appeal to all ages.

I find that the method of presentation is just as important as the quality of the presentation itself. Good scientific research must also include good scientific writing, and a good picture book must have good captions as well as good pictures, unless the book is exclusively pictures.

But I’m digressing. The point is, lately I’ve felt that I’ve finally been able to “reap the fruits” of my hard work with making friends. Although the vast majority of my friends are congoers, and I had always assumed that they’d be in a limited capacity to help me, I’ve found that they have done far more than simply provide me with constructive advice and emotional support.

Two people stand out in my mind as individuals who have helped me established concrete connections or can potentially help me establish concrete connections for future endeavors. The first is my dear friend Kelsey. Kelsey has given me the opportunity to speak with her dad, who is a researcher at Cleveland Clinic. Minimally, it is a nice research experience and it will look good on my resume to have had some form of research experience at the Cleveland Clinic. On a higher level, it may significantly improve my medical school application and increase my chances of getting into medical school.

The other individual, who has already changed my life on so many levels and provided a never ending source of inspiration and happiness to everyone around her, is none other than Haley herself. I’ve already gone to great lengths on how amazing Haley is, just by who she is, so I won’t say much here. What I will say, however, is that Haley has given me a number of options to pursue with her really good connections. She’s auditioning for a play with Rabbit Run, her mother has connections with Random House, and she’s just overall loaded with artistic connections. And this will really help me become a more well rounded applicant that the med schools are looking for, as I have essentially no artistic skills or interests listed on my med school application.

It’s not just with friends alone. Having gotten along so well with the University Hospitals staff at Lakeside, I’ve talked to the nurses there, and they’re going to help hook me up with doctors and physicians in the operating room. That means more shadowing, more visits to the operating room, and more opportunities to learn about the medical profession which will not only look good on my application but it will teach me a lot about what I’d ACTUALLY have to do for my career. And it would definitely help me decide on a specialty for medicine (though realistically I’ll probably pick the specialty that my future wife ends up having potential problems with, haha. My dream is to help my wife with her physical problems >_>;)

Developing personal skills is really important. It helps you get places, and it helps you establish connections so that you CAN get places. In fact, I feel it’s quite possible that interpersonal skills are more important than trade skills - in other words, it may be more important to be able to communicate with people than to necessarily be the most intelligent person. I am glad that going through cons, and having met the most amazing people ever, has allowed me to develop as a person and help me socialize with all kinds of people. It’s helped me immensely in establishing strong connections with important people, and I feel that it will continue to help me establish strong connections in the future.

Dear Haley,

I have one major request of you.

Please believe in me. Because I do not believe in myself.

How can I believe in myself? I just found out I got a 69 on my Organic Chemistry exam, and I thought I did so much better. I have a test tomorrow. I’m still sick. I’m so ridiculously confused and uncertain about the future. And I’ve been a horrible friend for the past few weeks/months and I haven’t seen most of my friends, aside from that one party we had.

But maybe if you believe in me, I can find some semblance of faith in myself.

- Benson

This morning, I discussed with my mom the things that I had talked to Dr. Mehta about concerning getting into medical school.

I told her that Dr. Mehta felt I was not a well rounded student and that I needed to have more experiences, and then I told my mom that JET would really look good on med school resume, and that it would increase my chances of getting into med school.

My mom first responded by saying that there’s more to the med school committee than the Dean of Admissions. I told her that I would be willing to request a discussion with every single member of the committee if that’s what it took to convince her that JET would be good for me.

My mom then told me that I needed to focus on studying for the MCAT. I asked her what I would do after studying for the MCAT, and why I can’t go to Japan after studying for the MCAT, as JET starts at the end of July and the MCAT is on June 18th.

Then she said that going to Japan costs a ton of money which they don’t have. And I told my mom that JET is an all expenses paid trip with room and board AND an annual salary of $36,000/year.

Then my mom told me she was worried that I would get a seizure in Japan, and then there would be nothing she could do about it.

And then I finally figured out why she REALLY didn’t want me going to Japan. It wasn’t really med school, or wasting money and time, or anything of that sort. My mom is still extremely overprotective of me and doesn’t trust me to live by myself.

Considering she still constantly brings up the idea that, after I marry, she has to live in the same house as me or live in a house that’s adjacent AND TOUCHING my house, it makes a lot of sense. She’s extremely attached to me and refuses to move far away from me. And by far away, I mean that it’s dangerous if she lives across the street from my house.

I mean, when I got my seizure at Ohayocon 2008, my mom wasn’t there, and I was still okay. My friends were there to support me all the way, and the Ohayocon staff were very supportive and friendly through the whole process as well. Japan is a developed country - people aren’t just going to leave me on the street to die if I have a seizure. And besides, seizures are rarely ever life threatening - I can’t really die from a seizure.

One thing that really concerns me, that goes beyond JET, is how long I can keep letting my mom have her way with me. It’s become pretty obvious to me by now - she wants me to live with her forever and she’s going to get EXTREMELY irritable and upset if I don’t. I definitely still want to stay close to her and keep her in touch with every aspect of my life, but the idea of having her LIVE with me after marriage is absolutely ridiculous. And what about my wife? What if she wants her parents to live with me too? It’s not fair that my parents would be allowed to live with me and not my wife’s parents. And I have my own family to raise, too. I don’t mind seeing my parents constantly after marriage, but having them attached to me until I die is just absurd.

And my mom still wants me to move back into her bedroom to sleep with her, like I used to UNTIL I WAS 18.

While I don’t necessarily have to go to JET, especially if there are a lot of other opportunities waiting for me and my friends are here to support me, I also want to get the point across to my mom that she can’t LIVE WITH ME FOREVER. It just wouldn’t work. If that were the case, I might as well never get married. My mom wants me to marry someone who wouldn’t mind living with my mom AND my dad. And that’s going to be impossible to find, and it’d be more like finding a wife for my mom than for myself.

So I don’t really know what I want to do.

I guess some feedback and other opinions on the matter would be nice.

So today I talked with the Assistant Dean of Admissions for Case School of Medicine for some insight as to why I didn’t get in. Here are some insights.

THE MAJOR REASON above all else is, as I predicted, my MCAT score. 31 just isn’t high enough for Case. I need to get a 34 or higher. So that will be my highest priority above all else going into the summer. For this reason there will be a pretty strong chance that I’ll miss ColossalCon.

The other thing, which Dean Pieri alluded to and I figured as much, as my lack of well roundedness in my extracurriculars. I did research and Japan Connection and not much else.

Case SOM, and med schools in general, are looking for applicants who have really good interpersonal skills and like to interact with people. And while that’s apparent to all of my friends, it’s not so apparent in my application. When Dr. Mehta looked at my extracurriculars and gave me her feedback, I realized there was trouble with the way I presented the extracurriculars.

I’ve been staff at ColossalCon and Ohayocon’s gaming department for the past few years, and I listed my volunteering as such. I listed that I did panels in the descriptions, but the title I listed for my extracurricular was “Gaming Department Staff.” She felt that there is a strong stereotype that gamers don’t know how to interact with people and it gives the impression that I also have trouble socializing with others. I explained to her that I also did a ton of panels and major events at the cons and she didn’t notice this until reading the descriptions of my activities.

So a big issue with my application is I need to be able to display my interpersonal skills on paper, which can be difficult given that my barbecues and parties aren’t really considered formal activities. I’m definitely going to rename my con activities as “panelist” so that I can show that it HEAVILY involves presentation to large crowds, so they know that.

As for what I should do for the next year, Dr. Mehta says that it does not matter whether or not I do a ton of research/full time jobs. She says I need to do things that make me appear well rounded, and isn’t limited to just research and gaming.

She asked me what I would want to do if money wasn’t a problem, and I was COMPLETELY free to do what I want, and I said I might want to learn to sing or play the violin as a hobby. She said I could go ahead and pursue those things as it makes me seem more well rounded and that ultimately, I should try to do things that make me seem like I have good interpersonal skills but at the same time define who I am.

Given the context of everything she said, I’m 99.9999% sure that doing JET would be a strong enough activity to make me appear extremely well rounded, very good at interpersonal skills, and, coupled with a high enough MCAT score, guarantee my entrance into medical school. However, I have to be prepared for the fact that my mom won’t let me do JET even if the Dean of Admissions of the med school, who determines whether or not I get into med school, marches to my mom’s house and knocks on the door and says “IF YOU LET YOUR SON GO ON JET WE WILL GIVE HIM A SPOT IN OUR MED SCHOOL.”

For some reason, I forgot to tell Dr. Mehta that if there was one thing I really wanted to do with free time and no financial burdens, it would be going to Japan.

And given my mom and the fact that I’m not sure about JET yet, I have to be prepared for alternatives.

So this is where I ask you guys for advice.

What do you guys feel I am cut out for, besides medicine and research? Any suggestions for me to do in my year off while I apply to med school?

It would be better if the activity explicitly involved interacting with people on a big scale but it’s not required. I mentioned I wanted to get a book published and Dr. Mehta said it seemed like a solitary activity, and med school is more about interpersonal stuff. So I want to do more than work on a book.

I’m open to ideas. Anything you guys think I should do? Not necessarily for med school, just as something to do.

I know at least one person who’s extremely good with people and gets along with everyone, and does quite a bit of stuff =P